And the winner is…
A Runners Fuel! Congratulations! Email me and I will get you in touch with my contact over at Sof Sole.
So this past weekend, Dan and I went to his friend’s house to watch the game with him and his wife. I like his friends, but we lead very different lifestyles. My biggest pet peeve when we go over there is that they are both smokers, so they are always going outside to have a cigarette. Since we are guests in their house, Dan and I always go sit outside with them. Of course I hate sitting there smelling the smoke, so I try to position myself away from it, but this weekend it was so cold! We constantly had to go outside with them and freeze while they smoked. Finally by the end of the night, we didn’t care if it was rude anymore and we stayed inside because we were freezing.
I really enjoy hanging out with these friends but they definitely think I’m crazy for waking up early to run 20 miles. Many times when we go to dinner with them on the weekends or go to their house I have to leave early so that I can get up to run. They are fascinated by why someone would want to do this and always ask me about running and my races. Of course they think every race is called a “marathon”. They will ask, “So Keri, are you running another marathon again this weekend?” I never correct them. I’ll just say, “yeah I’m doing a 10K tomorrow” or something like that. The one weekend this year that I actually ran a marathon they were baffled why I couldn’t go 2 days before (I was still babying that terrible cold). They couldn’t see how it was different from any other weekend!
Anyway, one of the “smoke breaks” that we were outside for, we got to talking about exercise and diets. The wife started talking about how she’s on these great new diet pills and I tried to be polite and engage her. She said, “yeah I read about them in a gossip mag and they don’t make your heart race or anything.” Then she told me she got all different kinds: one that is supposed to target the stomach area, one for the butt, and one for the thighs. She was going to get another one but that one recommended that you get physically active (go figure!) so she put it back on the shelf. She said the pills suppress her appetite until dinner and she only eats one meal a day. Really? I wanted to be polite because she was not asking me for my advice, she was just telling me about the product. I just couldn’t believe someone would actually use pills like this. I mean, regardless of whether they work or not (which I know they don’t-it is impossible to spot reduce, for one), there is no way they are healthy.
I guess I’m not sure if I should have said something or not. I mean I know I probably should have said something but I didn’t want to appear to be condescending, after all we were their guests. I basically just changed the subject.
What would you have done in that situation? How do you deal with friends who lead different lifestyles than you do?
16 comments:
Congrats to Runner Fuel!!
Ummm yeah. As a former smoker, I would NEVER had expected my guests to accompany me outside into the cold while I got my fix. Anyhooo...
as for wifey and diet pills, unless she was asking for your input, that is a delicate situation.
A lot of people ask me about fad diets and pills (just because I have lost so much weight) and as soon as I ask my opionion on that stuff, I let them know exactly how I feel about them! (hint: NOT GOOD!)
Most of my friends now are like minded: into running, fitness, etc.
Two things:
-I smoked for 12 years. I never expected anyone to come outside with me. In fact, I was always very aware of how smoking disrupted others. IMO, it is not rude to want to be healthy. Now that I do not smoke, I never go outside with my smoking friends.
-In 2001, my active, beautiful and smart friend Sarah was in her last year of college, double-majoring with a 4.0. She also wanted to lose 20 lbs. She began taking two different diet pills. Then she had a seizure; a direct result of taking the pills. She was in the hospital, and a coma, for over six months. She had to undergo numerous surgeries and relearn everything. My friend and I were so worried about her when she began taking the pills but we said nothing. Sure, her case wasn't what happens to everyone. But it can happen. My advice is to say something.
First: new to your blog!
I wouldn't be going out w/them for smoke breaks either.
Wow it sort of blows my mind that anyone would believe a pill could spot reduce for you. I probably wouldn't have said much either, since she wasn't asking for advice.
With our non running friends, I make sure not to talk about running unless asked and direct the conversation toward things they are interested in.
i think that if it were a close friend of mine taking strange pills, i would say something. but if it were just someone that i knew through my husband i would leave it alone. i know that i'm not always "delicate" with things that i have a strong opinion on and unless someone knew that i had the best of intentions might take my words as rude or out of line.
that's scary though. when people believe that health can be bought in a bottle...well, i guess if they smoke they're not all that interested in health?
I quit smoking 13 years ago, after smoking for 13. While I smoked I didn't care about anyone, least of all myself. I am much smarter and more polite these days. I care about myself, and it branches to others.
In my experience it sounds like you are not satisfied with your friends, and have minor things in common with them. I will not continue this thought, as I am sure you are already thinking this...
People, myself included, tend to take the easy way out. This is especially true if we are not educated in certain subjects. I have found that if someone informs me, even if I am not happy about it, it will lead me to research. Perhaps a short comment to your friend about calories vs intake, and physical activity would have been enough to get her researching.
If she was opening up to you and asking you questions like "right" or "you know?" then i think you can say what you like - they ARE your friends, right? Of course you have to be sensitive and say "well, the only thing I've found that works is healthy eating and exercise... I know it's really hard, but it's definitely worth it, or something". As someone who always tried to lose weight, I know it's not fun to hear a skinny person preach, but to hear them say it in a nice way, like they understand that it's a tough decision, it makes it better.
EEEK, I probably would have said something like "Truthfully the only real way to lose weight is to workout and eat healthy..." but I tend to say more than I should. Love your blog so far! My favorite is when people are like "How long is a marathon?" How do people not know this!
Hi! Totally unrelated, but I saw the photo of you and your dad at the Philly Marathon on SkinnyRunner's blog. I'm running Philly (just the half) this weekend and I was so excited to read your review of it! Sounds like it's a great race. And with the weather forecast being partly cloudy and 55/41, I have no idea what to wear. I'm taking your advice on shorts and probably short sleeves! :)
Anyway, great blog. I can really relate to your story and the love you've found for running in recent years. I'll definitely be coming back!
Jenn
I am a little too blunt. When a friend of mine decided to try pills like those I did my research and told her what I learned about it. I am like you and I hate cigarette smoke so bad....I think you should just continue to stay inside. My students always call any races a marathon...a student came in and said he did a marathon over the weekend, come to find out it was just a 5k:) Saw you on skinny runner and it made me happy!
Yay for me! My email address is runnersfuel(at)hotmail(dot)com. Let me know if there's anything else you need from me. Thanks for hosting this giveaway!
I can't keep my mouth shut, so I may have spoken up a little bit. I wouldn't have gone full force, but I may have asked about the side effects and given the whole "If something sounds too good to be true, it probably is!" approach.
I have a couple of friends that smoke and I never go outside with them. I hate the smell of smoke ... I don't think thats rude.
Oh gosh, the lady that works in the front office of my school just asked me how my "marathon" was this weekend when I did an 8k. She's like "Oh, it's all the same to me". I hate the smell of smoke and I rarely drink. I like it better this way! That was an awkward situation for you--I think you handled it well!
Ick! I've really tried to distance myself from people like that, how annoying!
I think it would be OK for you guys to say that you're NOT going to sit outside with them while they smoke. Smoking is SO FREAKING GROSS and second-hand smoke is very bad for you!!
I've had family members call ALL the races I do "marathons" as well. It's really annoying. Haha
Your already one up on me cause I don't hang out with many people who smoke. The smell just makes me so ill, gives me the WORST headache. I try to avoid them at all costs, I don't know to many smokers personally anymore, lots at work though! I don't think you should feel bad at all to sit inside, it's not rude at all, it's rude of THEM to assume you should be outside with them gaging on there nasty second hand smoke. Gross!
If I was you, in that position, I think I would have said something about her diet pills, maybe ask her what medical reviews or studies have been done on them and what not, I think if a person is talking about that sort of thing to someone who is clearly fit and living a healthy lifestyle they pretty much HAVE to be prepared for a real conversation.
Love your site :)
i'm new to your blog. i can't wait to spend some time snooping around.
first though, my honest first thought was "find new friends." i'm terrible, no?
it's just a struggle for me all the time to keep my mouth shut while i watch people i care about making unhealthy choices. it is not my body. it is not my body. i repeat. :) ...
my final answer is, if she didn't ask your opinion, don't give it to her. she knows better already. i think most people know better than to make the poor choices they're making but, they do it anyway. i believe your lifestyle is an example to her already. again, she knows.
I would have told her my opinion (I am one of those people who tell their opinion even if nobody asks them:)), plus I am European) especially since she is your friend. Because what she does is just outrageously stupid.
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