Over the past few months I have spent nurturing this stubborn runner’s knee, I have come to one important conclusion.
I NEED RUNNING IN MY LIFE.
I don’t want it, I don’t love it. It isn’t a hobby, nor is it an after school activity.
I need running like I need water, air, food, and sleep. Running is a NECESSITY.
Without running I am scatterbrained, moody, and I don’t know what to do with myself.
I have thrown myself into other things such as spinning, more intense strength training and have spent more time than usual cleaning, shopping ,etc. but nothing helps.
This morning I had a breakdown. I complete and utter breakdown. I burst into tears for no apparent reason. No reason, of course, it appeared. I was simply making my lunch. I couldn’t open the container and I just started to cry. No, bawl. I bawled my little blue eyes out. I bawled until my nose ran, until I couldn’t breathe. Running clears my head and without it I have been a mess. A foggy-headed mess without a purpose. I don’t need to race. I don’t even need to train. I just need to put on my Mizunos and run. No garmin, no heart rate monitor. Just me, my dad, and the road.
Dear Knee,
Please heal. I am falling apart.
Love,
Keri
”The Blue-Eyed Runner”
10 comments:
keri, I am so sorry about the breakdown. I completely understand. Running is who you are and without it you don't know what to do with yourself!! It will get better but it is so hard to see the big picture! Good luck and before you know it we will be in Boston:)
Have you tried seeing a chiropractor? The chiro did ART on my hip/side/calf and it helped me SO MUCH! Worth a shot maybe?
I hope you can run again soon!
Hope it gets better soon so you can run.
Awww sorry :(, I know how you feel as well, even two days off from running putting me in an awful mood today. I came home from my stair running feeling much better.
I hope you can be back running again soon too!!!
How is the knee? I know you said you want to wait until Jan but I don't see any reason for you not to run of the knee is behaving...I feel the same about running. Injuries are rough!
Aww Keri I'm so sorry. It's a necessity for me too, and I was the same way when I was hurt. I hope it gets better soon! I'll pray for ya girl!
Oh boo. So sorry that your knee is keeping you from your passion for running. I hope it heals quickly!!
bless your heart. i just want to hug you! sounds like you're going to through an entire process of grief over the loss of running. luckily you know that its a temporary loss and you will be reunited with your love. running is so much more than exercise and so few people understand that! i hope that you are able to persevere through this tough time and come out even stronger than before!
So sorry to hear you have not been able to run. I can relate to how you are feeling. I was a mess, a basket case when I tore my hamstring and couldn't run or walk very well. I was really depressed and so many people didn't understand why I was so sad over not being able to run. Hang in there. :(
I hear ya. That's how I'm feeling, not being able to run. I miss my spin class, too. You're not alone.
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